What Senior Men Are Learning on the Way to 100

Now that you're a "Seattle senior", what are your contemporaries saying they have learned about having a good life into very old age? Here are a few vignettes taken from the New York Times, plus some other valuable tips near the end of this article.

"We Are All Passengers"

Miggs Burroughs, 80

No matter our age, health or station in life, we are all passengers on the same planet and live through the same 24 hours each day. My father who died at 80, the age I am now, used to say that there is no shame in being the best passenger you can be during the ride.

My mother who lived to 102 held grudges to the day she died. A friend said that her behavior was like setting her own hair on fire, hoping the people who had done her wrong would choke on the smoke. Longevity is no guarantee of enlightenment, but enlightenment never grows old.

The Power of Do-in

Dr. Gregory Yuen, 76

My journey began at age 12 when my grandmother died. Confronting death for the first time led me to a lifelong vow to find the secret to longevity. I became a physician specializing in psychiatry, a licensed massage therapist and a tai chi instructor — all of which I have been doing for over 40 years.

As for the secret to longevity, I have found it with Do-in mindful self-massage, a 2,000-year-old practice sorely overlooked. It’s so simple that people dismiss it and won’t take a second glance. Here’s the simple explanation for how Do-in works: By giving focused, concentrated attention to every point in your body by self-massage, you make qi, the vital force in traditional Chinese medicine, available for self-healing. This attention amounts to love. Massaging every part of your body is giving love to your whole body. How else would your body respond to all this love other than to love you back with ease, not disease?

All About Friendship

Clifford Edwards, 72

My father is 100 years old. He lives alone in his own house. He still drives and plays golf. Nine holes or less depending on how he is feeling. He loves people. He loves to read. He goes to the library. He goes to bookstores. He plays bridge and is learning canasta. It’s the social interaction that keeps him going. He is a role model on how to live well.

Cliff's father had this to say: 

I find that social contact is so important in my life that I kept on being with people, playing cards, playing golf. Socializing has kept me going all these years. I never sat down and decided not to go on with my life and sit on a couch all day. I made a point of being out, joining associations and intermingling with other people.

Education is most important for the future. And if I had someone to advise what they should do, is never give up, and never look behind, look ahead, and just think of tomorrow, not yesterday.

Don't Borrow Trouble

Jack Fernandez, 70

I retired at 68 from a 35-year law practice (I was a Navy fighter pilot before law school). I do not miss work at all and have replaced it with an annual Camino [de Santiago] walk (two down), each of which has given me deep fulfillment. Also, watching my kids and grandchildren succeed is something I enjoy ruminating about.

Decades ago, fulfillment looked like success in the practice of law or in being the best fighter pilot I could be. Now fulfillment looks like something more introspective — am I proceeding toward a death I can be proud of and can I become someone my descendants will point to as an example? Like, “Remember Pop? When he retired he started taking 500-mile backpacking trips through Spain.” The advice my father gave me, “Don’t borrow trouble,” has always felt relevant, because I consistently war-game the worst possible outcomes but they never happen.

Don't Stop

Bill Starr, 86

I have taken deep meaning and comfort from Jimmy Buffett’s lyrics, “I’m not ready to put the book on the shelf.” I’m 86. At 83 I auditioned for a stage role and since have appeared in five community theater productions. At 84 I took a class in stand-up comedy and have done several PAID gigs! I’m preparing my next (fourth) book for publication. As Buffett suggests, don’t stop!

Other Secrets to a Long Life

Centenarians around the world say that the secret to a long life is less about perfection and more about perspective, simplicity, and connection. When they reach100, their insights shift from the pursuit of big achievements to the preservation of small, everyday moments.

1. Shift the Focus Inward. One person reflecting on reaching 100 noted an increasing awareness about getting older: "As the roads have narrowed, my life has opened inward." While youth was defined by the outward expansion of traveling the world, taking risks, and chasing curiosity, reaching 100 taught them the value of integration—bringing the world home and making meaning from what theyhave already experienced.

2. Prioritize Health in Your 30s, 40s, and 50s. Many centenarians note that the real challenge of longevity isn’t dying early; it’s living for 10-20 years with burdensome chronic diseases. Elders frequently express regret over not preventing unhealthy habits earlier in life. 

3. Choose Kindness Over Being Right. A 100-year-old man emphasized that most arguments are not worth the energy. He noted that a peaceful home matters far more than a large house, and that "kindness always works better than trying to be right". 

4. Relationships Are the True Wealth. In a survey of centenarians, nearly 4 in 5 stated that deep relationships are the most important part of life. Centenarians say that while busy days fade, small moments spent with people stick around. They note that money helps, but good people keep you alive longer, and the individuals who stay through your worst moments are your actual wealth.

5. Be Bored with Materialism, Invest in Growth. Centenarians feel that expensive material things do not bring lasting happiness. Instead, building wealth requires patience, disciplined saving, and choosing a basic, steady income over the reckless pursuit of wealth. 

6. Stay Active and Keep Learning. Longevity is closely associated with moving and exploring. They say things like, “It is very important to have a widespread curiosity about life” and retirement from learning is akin to "retiring from life". In addition, everyday movement is vital—nearly 70% of centenarians walk or hike weekly, which preserves health better than relying solely on doctors.

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