Reading List for Senior Men

Books, videos and podcasts are sources of ideas that may add meaning or something positive to your life. We'll be adding to this list from time to time.

Book List

• Little Alleluias
• Making the Best of What's Left
• Healthy to 100
• Why Brains Need Friends
• The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck
• 22 Life-Changing Books

"Little Alleluias: Collected Poetry and Prose" by Mary Oliver

This book gathers together three distinct works from Oliver's mid-career into one volume: 

• The Leaf and the Cloud: A book-length prose poem that has been described as a work of "glorious simplicity and tenderness".
• What Do We Know: A collection of poems and prose poems featuring meditations on the natural world, such as a moth's wing or a hundred white-sided dolphins.
• Long Life: Essays and Other Writings: A collection of short essays with a dozen interspersed poems, where Oliver shares her thoughts on nature, the wildlife that surrounds her in Provincetown, and other writers like Wordsworth, Emerson, and Hawthorne. 

Oliver encourages readers to pause, observe, and give thanks for the world around them, exploring core themes such as: 

• The Beauty of the Natural World: Oliver celebrates the wonder of nature, from "lilies, or wrens, or trout" to "a spider in her key-lock", inviting readers into a "reverent communion" with the environment.
• Attention and Gratitude: It's important to pay attention to the details of life as a form of spiritual practice and a way of offering "praise to the world".
• Spirituality and Transcendence: Her works often explore the connection between the soul and the landscape, seeing nature as a source of safety, love, and a way to connect with the sublime.
• The Purpose of Life: Oliver's writings implicitly ask readers how they plan to spend their "one wild and precious life," emphasizing living with intention and finding joy in everyday moments. 

Overall, "Little Alleluias" is a profound exploration of a life lived with deep attention and gratitude, offering readers solace and inspiration through Oliver's accessible and insightful observations of the world. 

"Making the Best of What's Left: When You're Too Old to Get the Chairs Reupholstered" by Judith Viorst

This is a humorous and poignant collection of essays and poems reflecting on the joys and sorrows of life in one's nineties. Viorst describes this period as the "Final Fifth" of life, candidly sharing her personal experiences with aging, loss, and finding purpose. 

The book includes personal anecdotes, observations, and poems, offering a candid and often funny look at difficult issues such as physical and mental decline, the loss of loved ones, and adjusting to new living situations. 

Key themes include:

• Downsizing and Moving: Viorst recounts the challenging transition she and her late husband made from their beloved Washington, D.C. home of over 50 years to an apartment in a retirement community.
• Widowhood and Grief: A significant portion of the book deals with the profound grief and loneliness Viorst experienced after her husband of 60 years died in 2022, and her process of adapting to life as a widow.
• Aging and Mortality: Viorst discusses the physical changes and health concerns that come with old age, and grapples with questions about mortality and the afterlife, blending humor with vulnerability.
• Finding Joy and Community: Despite the losses, she emphasizes the importance of staying physically and mentally active, connecting with others, and finding joy and purpose in everyday life. She shares stories from her contemporaries in the retirement community who continue to work, volunteer, and make new inter-generational friends.
• Wisdom and Happiness: The author reflects on the late-life meanings of wisdom, happiness, and second chances, offering an optimistic perspective on making the best of the time one has left. 

"Healthy to 100: How Strong Social Ties Lead to Long Lives" by Ken Stern

This book argues that meaningful social connections are the true secret to a long, healthy, and thriving life, often outweighing traditional factors like diet and exercise.

Stern's central premise is that social health is the foundation of successful aging.

Key Themes and Takeaways

• Social Connection as a Longevity Factor: The book presents research showing that physical and mental health outcomes are significantly improved by strong relationships and social engagement. Lack of connection triggers a stress response in the body, which is detrimental to health.
• The Four Pillars: Stern identifies four non-negotiable pillars that form the foundation of a long, fulfilling, and socially connected life:

1. Attitude: Cultivating a positive view of aging and actively combating negative ageism.Intergenerational
2. Connectedness: The health benefits derived from connecting with people of different ages.
3. Sense of Purpose: Maintaining an active, engaged life and feeling valued by society (e.g., Japan's concept of ikigai, the happiness of always being busy).
4. Respect for Older Adults: The societal value and respect given to older individuals.

• A Blueprint for Change: Healthy to 100 is presented as a roadmap for individuals and societies to better the "second half of life." It calls for a fundamental mindset shift and the purposeful building of social infrastructure to combat the loneliness epidemic and promote healthy aging.

The book ultimately provides a hopeful, research-backed model for a longer, healthier life by focusing on human connectivity.

"Why Brains Need Friends" by Ben Rein

As senior men who participate in the Greenwood men's group and other community groups, we understand the importance of social connections.

This book explores the neuroscience behind social connection, arguing that our brains are wired for community and that modern isolation is detrimental to our physical and mental health.

It explains how social interactions release "rewarding chemicals" and protect against stress, while isolation is linked to increased risks for various health issues.

It provides insights and strategies for fostering social bonds in a post-interaction world to improve overall well-being.  

• The science of social connection: The book explains the biological factors behind why socializing feels good, such as the release of "rewarding chemicals" in the brain. It also details how isolation is processed by the brain as a long-term stress response, leading to increased cortisol levels and negative impacts on mood. 

• The impact of isolation: Rein highlights the dangers of social isolation, which he describes as agonizing and potentially life-shortening. The book discusses the link between loneliness and increased risks for various health challenges. 

• Bridging the gap between virtual and in-person interactions: The book examines how the brain processes online interactions differently from in-person encounters and provides a neuroscience-backed approach to building and maintaining social connections. 

• Practical advice and strategies: Through scientific discoveries, storytelling, and data-driven advice, the book offers strategies for improving social life to maximize mental and physical benefits. This includes leveraging social interactions, no matter how small, for the benefit of your brain. 

• Broader implications: Rein argues that our brain health is critical to our overall well-being and that prioritizing connection is a crucial step toward happiness and health in today's society. 

"The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck" by Mark Manson

This book challenges the banalities of the self-help industry. The author, Mark Manson, proposes the key to a good life is learning to accept your limitations and failures and focusing on what you truly care about.

Here's synoposis of the themes in the book:

The "Backwards Law": The pursuit of happiness is itself a source of unhappiness. Trying to be positive all the time highlights what we lack, creating a negative experience. By contrast, accepting our negative experiences paradoxically leads to more positive feelings.

Embracing struggle: Life is an endless series of problems. The secret to a good life is not avoiding problems but finding the problems you enjoy having and are willing to struggle for. Happiness is found in the process of solving these problems, not in their absence.

You are not special: The constant social media highlight reel and consumer culture have led many to believe they are entitled to an extraordinary life. Accepting who you are -- for the most part, "average" -- is liberating. It relieves the pressure to be exceptional and allows you to appreciate life's ordinary but genuinely meaningful experiences.

Responsibility vs. fault: There is a key distinction between being at fault for a problem and being responsible for it. While you may not be at fault for certain events (like being born with an illness), you are always responsible for how you respond to them. Accepting this responsibility is the first step toward gaining power over your life.

Values define your "f*cks": The most crucial aspect of the book is choosing what is worth caring about. Adopting "good" values that are reality-based, socially constructive, and controllable, such as honesty, standing up for yourself, and humility. In contrast, "bad" values like popularity, constant pleasure, and material success are uncontrollable and lead to suffering.

The importance of "No": By committing to certain values, you must be willing to reject what is not those values. Saying "no" to things that don't matter is essential for having strong boundaries and allowing you to go deeper into the relationships and goals that do matter.

Confronting mortality: Confronting the reality of your own death is a powerful tool for re-evaluating what is truly important in life. When you stop denying your mortality, you can focus on creating meaning and joy in the moment, rather than trying to build an "immortality project".

Essentially, this book is a guide to prioritizing what truly matters. 

22 Life-Changing Books Summarized in 28 Minutes from Mark Manson

33 More Life-Changing Books Summarized in 20 Minutes from Mark Hanson

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